Dollars, Paper, and Blood
by Vitani's-Chainsaw
Summary: What would happen if the four worlds of Ikebukuro, Boston, Dunder Mifflin of Scranton, and Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital of New Jersey collided into one with gang wars, chat rooms, and the infamous color gang, The Dollars.
1. Prologue

Yeah, one day I was thinking about what a conversation between Izaya and House would be like. Then I thought about The Office. And then Being Human. And it turned into this. Enjoy, R&R please. This is just the intro, more to come.

******Prologue**

_If you live in Ikebukuro, you must be familiar with the numerous color gangs stalking our city. Specifically the infamous transparent gang, The Dollars. Many join without really realizing who their leader really is. In fact hardly anyone knows who their leader is, besides the leader themselves. Even the people given the password have no idea. At least most of them. Some join just for the fun of it, just so they can say they're a part of the infamous gang. Others maybe join just because they're bored with their job and have nothing better to do. Some may use the Dollars as their leverage to screw around with people. Even cops have joined. Maybe to help lead them on the right track. Others may have other reasons_

_ Even people may join the Dollars to blend in with society. To become as transparent as the Dollars. For their own purposes. No matter the reason, many join the Dollars, and so many are unaware of the reality and indulge themselves on these gangs._

TARO TANAKA: So, the Yellow Scarves are at it again?

KANRA: Yes! I heard there was another attack! Isn't that scary?

STEVE MCQUEEN: What they do? Blind them with their color?

KANRA: I bet they're after the Dollars!

FELICITAS: Over-dramatic, are we?

TARO TANAKA: Are you sure it was the Yellow Scarves?

KANRA: Yes!

STEVE MCQUEEN: A part of the Dollars all of a sudden?

-JIM9334 HAS JOING THE CHATROOM-

JIM9334: Hi, guys.

KANRA: It's the newbie!

TARO TANAKA: Welcome back!

JIM9334: What are we talking about?

FELICITAS: Kanra is freaking out over the Yellow Scarves.

KANRA: Am not!

STEVE MCQUEEN: We happen to be gossiping.

TARO TANAKA: Oh guys, something came up. Gotta go.

JIM9334: See ya.

KANRA: Farewell!

-TARO TANAKA HAS LEFT THE CHATROOM-

KANRA: So, I suppose your name is Jim?

JIM9334: Are you talking to me?

FELICITAS: You're the one with the username, Jim9334.

JIM9334: Maybe I just like the name. Or it's my dog's name.

KANRA: Or you just want us to think that!

STEVE MCQUEEN: Reverse psychology. Quite a complicated thing.

JIM9334: Why would I pull that? Just a name after all.

-AERON HAS ENTERED THE CHATROOM-

AERON: Greetings.

KANRA: Hello!

AERON: How is everyone?

STEVE MCQUEEN: Absolutly fabulous.

FELICITAS: Too much effort to complain.

AERON: …

KANRA: I was great. Then I heard about those Yellow Scarves attacks.

AERON: Oh, I heard about that. Shame to be a part of the Dollars when it comes to them.

STEVE MCQUEEN: A member of the Dollars all of a sudden?

AERON: Oh, no, I was just saying. The Yellow Scarves sure seem to want to take over the streets.

JIM9334: What I want to know is, why yellow? It's not all that intimidating.

STEVE MCQUEEN: Quite a fine way to fool someone.

AERON: Makes sense.

JIM9334: Oh, something came up. Got a promotion to a new workplace, and you wouldn't believe the work load now.

AERON: Congrats. And good luck.

JIM9334: Thanks.

-JIM9334 HAS LEFT THE CHATROOM-

STEVE MCQUEEN: Two down, four to go.

AERON: Actually I'd better be going too. Got to pick up a friend.

KANRA: Before you do, have you guys heard about that missing girl? Rebecca Flint I heard her name was…

AERON: Yeah… I did hear that. It's really quite… Sad.

-AERON HAS LEFT THE CHATROOM-

KANRA: Well it seems it's us three now.

FELICITAS: Shall I cut to the chase?

STEVE MCQUEEN: Ooh, I like it when a woman gets right to it.

FELICITAS: Not for you.

STEVE MCQUEEN: Ooh, darn.

FELICITAS: I was going to clarify that Kanra is not in fact the girl he claims to be.

STEVE MCQUEEN: What an accusation!

KANRA: What could you possibly be talking about?

FELICITAS: I know you're a guy. You can cut the act.

KANRA: Now what act could you be talking about? You don't know me after all.

FELICITAS: We'll see.

-FELICITAS HAS LEFT THE CHATROOM-

KANRA: Well, I suppose it's just us two now.

STEVE MCQUEEN: So you cut this 'act'?

KANRA: Who said I was acting?

STEVE MQUEEN: Have we met? Have I slept with you before?

KANRA: Wouldn't you have recognized me by now?

STEVE MCQUEEN: No.

KANRA: I know your type. Maybe we have met before. You remind me of someone I meet that worked in a hospital….

STEVE MCQUEEN: If I worked in a hospital, why would I be in a chatroom?

KANRA: You are obviously successful, probably bored with your job. Perhaps you're trying to anger your boss.

STEVE MCQUEEN: Or I could be so brilliant I don't need to. Or you're wrong. If you really aren't a woman, you must have some reason to lie. You could be a transvestite, or a pedophile…

KANRA: Or you're wrong.

STEVE MCQUEEN: Or, you enjoy messing with people.

KANRA: Being such a brilliant doctor, you must know all of this.

STEVE MCQUEEN: Being the brilliant doctor that I am, I better run!

-STEVE MCQUEEN HAS LEFT THE CHATROOM-

KANRA: Well, this will be fun.


	2. Meeting TwentySomething

**Each chapter, sorta like each Durarara episode will focus on one arc or character. House happens to be really hard person to write for, however, him and Izaya defiantly are an interesting duo to think and write about. As one of my friends said, "Izaya rude and House rude are two very different things."**

**I do not own anything besides this idea/fanfic and the character Vivianne.**

**Chapter 1: Meeting Twenty Something**

_One would think that forty former medical students all striving to be a part of a high paying diagnostic team in a doctor's on version of a game to piss off his boss would be hectic. Well, you could be right. The many doctors and know-it-alls running around the hospital for answers, plus the thirty-something crushed dreams._

"Who is this man?" The infamous limping doctor House question the room full of possible candidates sitting each with their own designated number, facing him and the slideshow featuring a man's picture. After the silence he continued. "Come on. I won't fire you if you're wrong."

A woman raised her hand, hopefully. "Neville Chamberlin?"

"You're fired."

_Maybe it's not the medical students causing chaos. Maybe it's the doctor's stiff boss ruining the doctor's fun._

"That's forty people!" House's brunette boss snapped, tapping her foot impatiently as scolded him.

House thought a moment. Forty people only added to his twisted fun. He could respond to Cuddy with his usual snarky remark, but that wouldn't accomplish anything. He still would need to rid of more of these people faster than he wished. "Row D, you're fired!" He shouted into the room of candidates, disappointing the second to last row.

_Not to mention the patient to be diagnosed, as little as they do matter._

"No records, no nothing. For all we know, the patient could be Osama bin Laden."

A patient in a wheelchair gave House a confused expression. "We're protecting Osama bin Laden?"

House gave him a cold glare. "It's a metaphor. Get used to it."

_Being a doctor has its privileges, whether it be to laze in your office to watch soap operas, screwing around with your boss in the right or wrong way, or meeting the most interesting people._

A blonde woman, but not any blonde woman. A blonde woman who quit not too long ago. Cameron. Out of all the blonde women, House saw Cameron. But she wasn't even a natural blonde! The way she wore it up almost reminded House of a hooker, in fact, but that wasn't the reason he followed her. He saw her from the balcony, spotting her walk on the main floor with a lab coat. He quickly limped to the elevator, ready to push a button until a cool voice stopped him.

"You seem to be in a hurry."

House turned and saw an unfamiliar face. He was a young man, maybe barely in his twenties, with messy black hair and as House peered closer, rusty-colored eyes. The kid was wearing a nice back hoodie with fur trim, showing maybe perhaps he had money. A smirk was painted on his lips, as if he had some mischievous thought in mind.

House took one look at him and turned away. He replied din sarcastic tone, "With this cane? Yeah, I wish."

The young man spoke again before House could push the elevator button, not sounding aggravated at all. "I suppose that mood would be just because of that reason."

House paused again and turned back to the young man. He stood with his hands in his pockets, looking rather cheery, not affected by House's tone what's so ever. He was beginning to grow on House's nerves, while intriguing him. "No, this mood is because being a doctor, you have to deal with nosey twenty-something year olds wandering around hospital for no reason when they should be drinking at home-wait, no. That's what I should be doing."

Before he moved on, the man retaliated again. "I don't suppose doctors have much time to drink when they deal with limps and twenty-something year olds as opposed to a twenty-year old. Even if this twenty-something year old has no desire to."

This made House flinch and study the young man one more time. Now he was really intrigued by him. Quite a different young man. He actually seemed somewhat intelligent. Maybe he should be in that room with all the medical students. "I don't suppose you had a number on you, did you?"

The man looked down at his outfit a moment. "Not that I recall."

"Huh… Very well. Suppose I'll just call you 'Twenty-something' from now on."

_ Of course, some of these people you meet may not be so pleasing to see. They aren't worth the time when you can be solving the numerous puzzles and mysteries left unanswered. Like that blonde woman with Cameron's face. The mystery of her return and why she dyed her hair blonde. _

By the time House reached the bottom floor, 'Cameron' was gone. How suspicious. House glanced around the floor from the main doors to the desks. She was gone. He muttered curse words under his breath, limping away, deciding to go elsewhere.

House didn't knock, he just opened Wilson's door and barged in. Wilson jumped a bit in his seat and sighed, realizing who it was. House didn't say anything, he just slumped on the couch.

After a pause, Wilson asked impatiently, "May I help you?"

House took a breath and announced, "I saw Cameron."

Wilson raised a brow skeptically. "Cameron."

"Yeah, except she had blonde hair."

"Blonde, like Chase? Next time you see her, she'll be black," Wilson remarked, referencing a previous worker.

"Noooo, she was on the main floor."

"Have you taken your vicaden again?"

"Oh, whatever." After a pause, House spoke again. "By the way, who's that kid?"

"What kid?"

"Twenty-something." When Wilson gave him a blank expression, he continued. "Black hair, fur hoodie."

"Oh, _that_ kid."

"Troublemaker?" House sounded hopeful.

"Not yet. His name is Izaya Orihara."

"What kind of name is that?"

Wilson shrugged. "He visited a girl here."

"Girlfriend?"

"No, just a friend I suppose. Saki, the patient. Anyways, I spoke to him once."

"Why are _you_ speaking with a twenty-something year old?"

"Wilson sighed. "Just once. He's an info broker."

With that, House stood up with his cane support. "Well, then. I can get all the dirt on you," He remarked before walking out with not another word.

_Being a doctor is many people's dream. To heal the sick and wounded, to have that joyous feeling telling you that you have accomplished something. But that's not why I'm here. I'm here for the mystery, for the puzzle, I couldn't care less about the patient. As long as each puzzle is solved, maybe I will be somewhat satisfied with my work._

"Excuse me," Pardoned a young male nurse, tall with dark hair and rather pale skin.

House took one look at him and said, "What, did you watch too much of Scrubs? Terrible lie that male nurses can have their job without looking funny or at least gay."

The man gave a fake laugh and smile and replied, "No actually I just wanted this job to help people. In case you don't remember, I'm Aiden."

"Ah, well, if you wanted a job to help people and to keep your dignity, perhaps a male prostitute instead."

House began to limp away after his rude remark while Aiden gave a quiet reply, "You would be surprised by my dignity, sir."

The doctor just continued forward, ignoring him to where the perhaps thirty medical students sat, hoping to be tortured another day, and to be a part of the infamous diagnostic team to make years of medical school worth it.


End file.
